Cynthia is back, but only for a few days

Last week, Cynthia wasn’t around at all.  I had thought she left, but thank goodness, she returned back this week.  I chatted with her a bit.  It turns out that she does not work on the same project that I work on.  Last week, she was working from home, which for her is Birmingham, Alabama.  Yep, a Southern girl!  I love Southern women.  (Hell, I love all women.)  She even commented how she worked in her “jammies.” Was that a hint, maybe?

The trouble is, we are moving to a different floor in my building.  Which means that I will hardly get to see her.  Rats!  Another lost opportunity.  To be honest, I think she was on to me, and I think she wasn’t interested.  Oh well.

The good news is that we are moving closer to Ashna.  I’ll keep you posted.  If you haven’t noticed, I have a permanent Cast of Characters page where I list all the women.

Ashna

What do I find most sexy?  A big brain.  No joke… I am extremely attracted to intelligent women.  A woman can have great breasts, a flat tummy, and a nice butt, but if she has that dumb-as-rocks, deer-in-headlights look, then I am not interested in the least.  And if every other word out of her mouth is “like,” as in, “Like, what do you, like, do for a living?” then I run screaming for the hills.

So it’s no surprise that I have a crush on Ashna.  Ashna is another woman who works in our department, but in another group.  Lately, I’ve had lots of interaction with her, since we now work on the same project.  She is at the same level as my boss — group lead.  And like my boss Hasna, she is from India.  She’s not what you would consider “hot,” but she is one of the smartest, most competent people I have worked with in a long time — and that’s why she’s sexy as hell.  She’s also a real sweetie — not an ounce of attitude.

I’m still in the initial stages of getting to know Ashna, so it will be a long time before I make my move.  Yes, she is married — and in an interesting twist, her husband is a manager at my company.  He works in a different department but he is rather well-known in the company.  He’s a nice guy, I have to admit.  He knows a lot of people by their first name, including me.  It makes things very complicated.  On the one hand, I have to tread very, very lightly.  But on the other hand, I know my “competition”, so to speak.  I have never met my boss’s husband, so he remains a mysterious silent player, but in Ashna’s case, I know exactly who I am dealing with. 

The Ring Thing

Forget about the episode of Seinfeld where George wears a wedding ring and has women hitting on him left and right.  It’s bunk.  The fact is,  when you wear a ring, you are essentially stating publicly that you are off the market.

There’s no hiding the fact that I’m married. Everybody knows it.  It’s the reason why I don’t go out for drinks after work, or why I don’t stay out until two in the morning.  I always wear my wedding ring.

Then how does a married guy score?  As far as I can tell, there are three ways to play it:

• Don’t wear the ring, and don’t mention the marriage.  Unless you are travelling on business and are looking for a one-night stand, don’t do it!  Initially, you’ll quickly find out who the interested ladies are, but you’ll sound like a fool when you’re invited out to drinks and keep making excuses.  And when they find out — and believe me, they will — you will look like a complete jackass.  Also, you’ll only get hit on by single women — trust me, you’re missing out, as I’ll explain in a later post.
• Don’t wear the ring, but don’t hide the marriage.  If you ask me, this just isn’t feasible.  By not wearing the ring, you are, in effect, hiding the marriage.  Plus, suppose you are out for drinks with coworkers, and a young lady comes up to talk to you.  Having a coworker come up and say, “You know, he’s married,” makes you feel like an even bigger jackass.
• Wear the ring.  The only option left.  It limits your options for a while, but in the long run, it’s worth it.  You never have to worry about anybody “outing” you.  You never have to worry about putting the ring back on when you come home, or worse, potentially losing the ring.  (I almost did this once, in a bar.  Fortunately, I found it on the floor, but it was the scariest five minutes of my life.)

A quick story will illustrate.  There’s a lady who works in my building named Ellen.  Blonde hair, BBW, not especially cute but not too bad.  I pass her desk every day when I go for coffee.  Well, I wasn’t wearing my ring the first time I passed, and I decided to flirt with her.  Ellen flirted back, and within a week, I found myself removing my ring when I went for coffee.  Before long, Ellen was dropping strong hints about wanting to go out — inviting me down for birthday cake, calling me at my desk, etc.  I had to take her aside and explain that I was married, which was a very awkward conversation.  I still smile and wave, and she smiles back, but I’ve essentially ruined any chance I had with her.

Final note:  If you do take your ring off, take an extra minute and put it on your key chain.

Cynthia

There’s so many women to talk about, and I promise I’ll get to them.  But I have to talk about a new girl in town.  I don’t even know her name, at least not yet.  But I’ll call her Cynthia — she looks like a Cynthia to me.

Now, you understand that I would have sex with just about any woman.  Cynthia is a BBW — that stands for “big beautiful woman.”  She’s not extremely fat; I’d say she’s around 200 pounds.  She’s got that short, cute hair that’s real straight, not the wavy grandma-do, but done real stylish.  She’s a nice dresser and she smiles.  In fact, that’s how I noticed her.  Whenever she walked by, she would smile at me, and I smiled back.  That soon progressed to a “Good morning” and a wave.

True, I don’t know her name, but we have talked at least a little bit.  Cynthia is part of a group of consultants that recently invaded our space.  They work for another department, but they are involved on the same project as I am, so there at least has been a little overlap.  Two of the consultants share a cube next to mine; I’ve gotten to know them, so there is a little casual conversation, and even a few work-related questions.  I’ll use the project angle to see if I can get to know her better.  But I digress…

The only real interaction I’ve had was after a company-sponsored 5K run.  I went back to my desk, still wearing my running bib, t-shirt, and shorts (no, not speedos).  Cynthia spotted me and asked, “Did you win?”  Of course I didn’t.  “But you at least finished, right?”  Yes, I said, with a smile.  In my book, that’s a flirt, and that’s all the invitation I need.  I’d better act before the consultants leave.

By the way, I should mention that I always wear my wedding ring.  I’ll have more to say about that in a future post.

We’ll start with my boss

Did I mention that my boss was hot?  Ok, maybe hot is a bit over-the-top, but my boss Hasna* is definitely cute.  (*In this blog, names are always changed to protect the innocent… and the guilty!)  Hasna is about 5′8″, early thirties, 110 pounds, skinny — at least, when she wasn’t pregant.  She is from India, and has long wavy black hair, big brown eyes, and full lips.  Definitely cute.  And as a coworker once commented, “She’s got a nice ass!”

Hasna and I did not get off on the right foot.  She used to be cold, rude, demanding, even arrogant.  She never said “Good Morning” when she first walked in.  She just sat down at her computer, and would send me a few e-mails (from a few feet away, mind you!).  Never said “Goodbye.”  Over the next year, we fought — even yelling at each other a few times.  It was not good.  To make matters worse, she was passed over for a promotion, and she became downright nasty.

That was the old Hasna.  She eventually did get the promotion.  I think her boss also told her about her personality, because she started sayingh”Good Morning” and other things.  People responded accordingly, and a year later, we were on good working terms.  You might have thought that pregnancy would have made her an emotional basket-case, but instead, she calmed down immensely.

I have never seen her underwear.  Nor have I ever seen her bra, but seven months of pregnancy have swelled her breasts enough.  She looked great in jeans, but alas, it’s now stretchy pregnancy pants.  She still smells great.  So would I do her?  Not until the baby’s born, but yes, I would.  Does the Office Player have a chance?  Well, a few months ago, I would have said, probably not.  But things change…

About a month ago, Hasna beckoned to me and said she wanted to tell me something.  I thought it was to tell me about something business related, but instead, she said, “I was sitting in back of you at that meeting, and I have to say, your shoulders are so much broader!”  I was floored!  Yes I have been working out, but to have Hasna say it really surprised me.  (Not to mention that my ego was pumped!)

She has also started to talk about her husband.  One thing that surprised her when she came to America was how sensitive and caring the men were — it’s not what the Indian stereotype of an American male is.  To boot, she then describes her husband as a emotionless bookworm.  Hmm, I thought. This could be the way to open the door, yes?  We shall see.  I don’t know if her marriage was arranged; it’s common in India.

I do like her and respect her.  And I’d respect her in the morning.

Yes, I’m Hitting On Your Wife

“Not my wife?”  Yes, your wife.   Or for that matter, everybody’s wife.

Well, who the hell am I?  I’m the Office Player.  It is my goal to have sexual relations with every woman in my office.  Well, not every woman, but most of them.  And when I’m not doing it, I’ll be getting my kicks in other ways.

You see, I’m the office pervert.  I’m that guy who will look to see what color bra a woman is wearing, should she bend over.  I’m that guy who looks for the panty lines when a woman wears khakis.  I’m the guy who will sniff a woman’s chair when nobody is looking.

A bit about me.  I’m in my late thirties.  I’m good-looking enough, and although I won’t win any bodybuilding contests, three years in the gym have paid off enough so that I look good in a T-shirt.  I’m a computer programmer, but I don’t wear glasses, pocket protectors, or highwater pants.  I’m an incurable flirt.

And yes, I’m married.  But it does not detract me from my goal.

I’m writing this because I think there are a lot of guys out there who do what I do.  They just won’t admit it.  I work at a large corporate campus, with thousands of people.  I flirt with almost every woman I see.  And from what I’ve seen, I think most guys do it too.  Yes, the married ones do it also.  (I also belive that many guys sniff chairs, too!)

I’m going to chronicle my day-to-day adventures as an office player.  I’ll tell you about the women in my work life.  I’ll introduce each one to you, starting with my (hot!) boss.  I’ll tell you what they wear.  I’ll tell you when I’ve spotted a flash of purple Hanes-Her-Way panties.  I’ll tell you when I succeed at seducing them.  I’ll also tell stories from past jobs, and other such tidbits.

Stick around, it’ll be fun.