Forget about the episode of Seinfeld where George wears a wedding ring and has women hitting on him left and right. It’s bunk. The fact is, when you wear a ring, you are essentially stating publicly that you are off the market.
There’s no hiding the fact that I’m married. Everybody knows it. It’s the reason why I don’t go out for drinks after work, or why I don’t stay out until two in the morning. I always wear my wedding ring.
Then how does a married guy score? As far as I can tell, there are three ways to play it:
- Don’t wear the ring, and don’t mention the marriage. Unless you are travelling on business and are looking for a one-night stand, don’t do it! Initially, you’ll quickly find out who the interested ladies are, but you’ll sound like a fool when you’re invited out to drinks and keep making excuses. And when they find out — and believe me, they will — you will look like a complete jackass. Also, you’ll only get hit on by single women — trust me, you’re missing out, as I’ll explain in a later post.
- Don’t wear the ring, but don’t hide the marriage. If you ask me, this just isn’t feasible. By not wearing the ring, you are, in effect, hiding the marriage. Plus, suppose you are out for drinks with coworkers, and a young lady comes up to talk to you. Having a coworker come up and say, “You know, he’s married,” makes you feel like an even bigger jackass.
- Wear the ring. The only option left. It limits your options for a while, but in the long run, it’s worth it. You never have to worry about anybody “outing” you. You never have to worry about putting the ring back on when you come home, or worse, potentially losing the ring. (I almost did this once, in a bar. Fortunately, I found it on the floor, but it was the scariest five minutes of my life.)
A quick story will illustrate. There’s a lady who works in my building named Ellen. Blonde hair, BBW, not especially cute but not too bad. I pass her desk every day when I go for coffee. Well, I wasn’t wearing my ring the first time I passed, and I decided to flirt with her. Ellen flirted back, and within a week, I found myself removing my ring when I went for coffee. Before long, Ellen was dropping strong hints about wanting to go out — inviting me down for birthday cake, calling me at my desk, etc. I had to take her aside and explain that I was married, which was a very awkward conversation. I still smile and wave, and she smiles back, but I’ve essentially ruined any chance I had with her.
Final note: If you do take your ring off, take an extra minute and put it on your key chain.
